Author of

 "Good Kids, Difficult Behavior"

and "Discipline That Works: 5 Simple Steps"

 NOTES FROM THE EDITOR

Dear Educators and Friends,

Don't forget that Joyce will be conducting local Continuing Education Training Seminars again this year, so mark you calendar now for these special events.

When: March 17th and 18th

Where:  Peachtree City, Georgia

March 17th - Who is Paying Your Energy Bill? 

How to Protect Your Personal Energy Supply from Burnout and Exhaustion

March 18th  -  The Bridge from Rage to Reason:

Therapeutic Techniques for Stopping Chronic Tantrums, Blowups and Meltdowns

Visit our website for additional information:

www.thehumanconnection.net

 ASK JOYCE

As Joyce travels and works with educators all over the country, she is constantly being asked---

"What do you do when...?" questions.  She has the greatest respect for "what do you do when questions" because usually the questioner is genuinely seeking new information and the teacher is willing to be a student.  Each month, Joyce will answer one or more of the most common "what do you do questions".  You are welcome to send one of yours.  She'll do her best to answer it.  Keep in mind, her answers may be different from the customary response but they are tried and true strategies for getting students to do what you are asking them to do.  Give yourself permission to try something new! Email Joyce at joyce@thehumanconnection.net  with any questions or situations you would like input on.  Let us know if we can show the question in a future newsletter or if you prefer to keep it private. We are hoping Joyce can help address situations you encounter and by sharing these questions/answers others can benefit as well.

Discipline Tip:

There is a new buzzword out there.  It is called “reculturing” as in the process of recreating the atmosphere of a school that has become filled with hostility, aggression or just general bad attitude.  A colleague asked me, “What would you do, Joyce, to re-culture a school?”  There are many things that would need to be done but the first is to get the faculty and staff committed to setting a proper example for respect, kindness, consideration.  This, of course, is not as easy as it sounds and warrants more discussion later.

The second step though is teaching students to obey a simple normal voice command the first time.   It seems that the idea that a youngster should do what they are directed to do the first time is gone completely out of vogue.

Those of you who have read my books and heard me lecture know how strongly I feel about adults speaking to students respectfully and maintaining personal dignity, even when angry.  I feel equally strong about the needs and importance of teaching children and teens to respond immediately to simple requests.  If you haven’t accomplished this with your students this year so far, here are a few suggestions to get things moving that direction.

1. Explain to your students that in order for everyone to meet the goals for success in your class, it is necessary that everyone move along and do what they are asked the first time.

2. You are therefore going to help everyone focus on a “do it the first time” campaign.”

3. Each student will be asked to make a sign of some sort to be placed somewhere in the room.  Students can make one that will best help them remember to respond quickly when directed.

4. Students will be acknowledged with a simple thank you when they do what they are asked the first time.  If they forget, they will be reminded with a simple, “Do it the first time” from you.

5. If they choose to ignore the reminder, you will simply make note and deal with them later.  Keep moving.

6. Under no circumstance get into a dialogue with the student about why they are not doing what they were asked to do.  If they try to draw you into such a tangle, simply ask, “What are you suppose to be doing?”  Then move on. 

7. Establish a simple point system that gives students 50 points or so, which can be cashed in at the end of the week—maybe even the end of class for some form of reward.    Example:  50 points gets a homework pass or --- minutes (fill in the blank) of free time in class to read, draw or work on something of choice.

40 points - gets candy, handful in a jar

30 points - gets 2 small pieces

20 points - gets a free pencil

10 points - gets ?

This reward system is only temporary and is probably needed to keep everyone focused on the behavior you want and not what you do not want.

8.      If you do not seem to be getting the results you want, then stop all instructions.  Get each student to write a note to go home or to an administrator explaining why they think they should be exempt from this simple request.

9. Students must know you are serious about this.  Whatever time you take from regular instruction to  get everyone to DO IT THE FIRST TIME will more than pay off in the increased work you will be able to get accomplished once your students are not having to be coaxed, poked, prodded or threatened to get work done.

Try this or some creative version of your own.  Stay focused on this one simple goal for your students.  It is the foundation of all good discipline.  Both children and teens are happier when they know what’s expected and can respond accordingly

Joyce

Volume 30 March 2005

http://www.thehumanconnection.net

 ASK JOYCE

 SUBSCRIPTIONS

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If you like the newsletter, please consider forwarding it to your colleagues and system staff development specialists.

Mark@TheHumanConnection.net

This Month's Special:  Good Kids, Difficult Behavior

    Book for $17.50 each  

(20% Discount)

"Good Kids, Difficult Behavior" presents simple, effective tools for understanding difficult behavior and changing it through a thoughtful prepared adult response. The book outlines what works: Keeping your cool, identifying strengths, clear structure, praise, and "walking them through the thinking process". And what doesn't work: Yelling, threatening, over punishing, constant criticism, and nagging.

UPCOMING TRAINING   SEMINARS

March 3, 2005

Fayette County Board of Education

Fayetteville, GA

March 10, 2005

Rockdale County High School

Conyers, GA

April 7-8, 2005

GRADs Program

Chesapeke, OH

April 29, 2005

Campbell County Board or Education

Jacksboro, TN

 INSPIRATION

It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do."
 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Taken from ~ http://www.inspirational-quotes.info/index.html

 PERSONAL ENERGY SAVER

Energy Tip of the Month

I am writing this as I fly back from California.  As I look out over the beautiful mountains, I am reflecting on the specific joys of the weekend and the potency of happy energy.  Yesterday my daughter and I strolled through a wonderful world market down by the bay in San Francisco.  The market place was filled with the fragrances of delectable foods from all over the world.  We sort of grazed our way through this multicultural adventure of the palate.  What a joy.  We even found true Hungarian poppy seed cake, which delighted my daughter as much for the happy childhood memories it brought back of her grandmother’s kitchen as for its splendid taste.  We ate delicious clam chowder with fresh sourdough bread and I could go on and on.  But aside from the joys of the palate, there were delightful shops to just browse and enjoy.  It occurred to me that the whole atmosphere of this huge renovated Ferry Building was charged with happy energy.  We felt like we could stay all day, not just because of the food and shops, but because of the happy energy.  When people are relaxed and enjoying themselves they create and generate positive energy.  No one is snipping, snarling, complaining or discussing the ills of the world.  There were no TV’s in this place.  People could just be happy in the moment.  It is almost impossible to get tired or exhausted in the midst of this kind of energy.  That’s what makes it so potent. 

After we left the good energy of the Ferry Building, we strolled thru many lovely art galleries.  These places were filled with even more positive energy.  To me much of the art was stunning, reaching out and grabbing attention from even the most disinterested passerby.  So I can hear you saying, “Well, yah, Joyce, if I could take a little trip to San Francisco and eat good food and stroll thru art galleries I could feel happy energy too.”  It’s being here at school all day, five days a week where it is sometimes difficult to find happy energy that things get a little tricky.  I know it is true.  Nevertheless, it is equally true that we all need regular, preferably daily doses of happy energy, which is easiest to locate where people are relaxing and having fun. 

So here is my suggestion.  Make your work (classroom) more fun and relaxing.  Recently I spoke to two different teachers, one middle school and one elementary, who were sharing with me how they have integrated many fun games into the teaching process.  They are both teaching high-risk students and both said they learned quickly that if their kids weren’t having fun, they would not master the curriculum nor score well on tests.  It makes so much sense to do this because happy energy is powerful.  I think it even makes us smarter.  Most of all it helps the teacher go home with more energy to do those joyful pleasures that make life good.

 CONTACT INFORMATION

The Human Connection

125 Highgreen Ridge

Peachtree City, GA 30269

Phone (In Georgia): 770-631-8264                     

(Toll free): 1-888-460-8022

Fax: 770-486-1609 

Email: For info about newsletter/website, contact mark@thehumanconnection.net

To order books, and get info on training programs, contact divinyi@mindspring.com

Website: http://www.thehumanconnection.net